Maybe I am being a bit harsh on the Burtgang, I dunno. I perceived it as the type of thing I wanted to hit hard right after I finished Excalibur (shooting for early/mid March), but reading some of the stuff pertaining to it was sort of a turn off. In essense though, I am not going to be looking for a damage-dealing sword since I’ll already have the best one available, but it would have been nice. Perhaps I should pursue it either way. The gil isn’t really an issue for me, and it would keep my Paladin complete and at the level where I’d want it to be in situations where I wouldn’t use the Excalibur, like Dynamis, and Dark Ixion/Sarameya perhaps.

Since Day 1 I told everyone who asked my opinion on it and, on paper, it looks like a glorified Hauteclaire with one unique piece of text on it. Is that one line going to provide a significant bonus though? Probably not. Does it matter? No, not really. So I guess what I am torn between is not just owning two swords that are great in the situations that call for them, but also the pursuit of a great quest to obtain 30k Alexandrites, which I think, and this is probably agreed upon among the vast majority of players, an absolutely absurd requirement when compared to all the others. Square Enix was smoking some serious buddah when they devised 50k and were feeling a bit more agreeable when they reduced it to 30k. Still, it can be accomplished as two others have already shown. That still doesn’t make it seem better to me though… lol

So is it really as big a disappointment as people say it is? Well, I still don’t know the answer for sure. The prestige that comes from owning something unique like that gives anyone that warm and fuzzy feeling. I’d do it for me and me only. It would be really cool to be able to drop all my other weapons and honestly, inventory space is more valuable than anything you can possible buy in this game, especially when you’re trying to play jobs at a high level. I could totally drop Hauteclaire and Macuahuitl+1 if I had a Burtgang… is one inventory space worth it…? So many questions, so few answers. Really, I shouldn’t even be thinking about this as I still have Excalibur waiting in the wings. Perhaps when I finish it I will know that sense of accomplishment I felt when I received my Aegis. That feeling was so great and since that day I have tried so hard to recreate it. The only thing that came close was my Defending Ring. In fact that was probably an even greater feeling, but it came and went.

Will nothing ever satisfy me in this game? I hope so, otherwise I might as well just stop playing. All the pointless arguments I’ve had with people on forums to justify some stance have been stupid. I just wanna have fun in this game to be quite honest. Leadership in my linkshell for three years has killed so much of that fun that every now and then, I need to win an item just to keep myself afloat. But the only things that ever made me happy were Aegis and Defending Ring. And a part of me feels that is sad because they’re just personal things really. I feel like what would make me most happy is helping someone else obtain something they perceive as great, and so I am in the process of deciding that instead of getting that Burtgang, maybe I’ll help someone else fund a Relic or Mythic weapon. Perhaps that will fill the void, or maybe that’s not what I need. I have never been so uncertain about anything like this in my entire life.

In the end it’s just a game, and we’re supposed to have fun with it. When you stop having fun, does that mean we turn to something else to fill the gap or change course within the game itself? I guess I’ll just have to do some soul-searching. Getting gear for myself just doesn’t do it for me anymore.

So Snowy Cermet finally (re)dropped in Limbus last Saturday and I was able to upgrade these bad boys:

So like I’m really psyched now that I have the most Enhancing Magic skill I can possible get @251 skill. Now that that project is complete I can work on something else… what exactly, I don’t know.

I still haven’t gotten around to making the trek back to Sea Serpent Grotto after I got outclaimed last time. I am starting to feel like I need to do it before someone else does and makes it not as cool. Really though, I don’t care. If I did, I would be down there every night. I’ve been spending so much time playing Fallout 3 lately between leading Karasu and doing other stuff that I just don’t have the patience to kill placeholder mobs then wait around for Charybdis to spawn admist potential competition. On top of all this, I have 100k worth of meds sitting on a mule just for the initial attempt that I would have to send to my main, which already has massive inventory space issues thanks to Mrs. Montiont, Mr. Lungo-nango, and Chairman Byne. Perhaps if Asdrabael bugs me enough about it, I’ll find the motivation. Until then, I don’t see myself doing it on my own.

Sooner or later I am going to make this big two-part post (at least) about points vs. /point system. For some time now, I have been trying, albeit feebly, to somehow contribute something to the community as a whole. I developed this very useless (in my opinion, of course) system of devising point values for mobs based on a number of factors. BG didn’t take too well to it, but looking back on it, I didn’t elaborate enough on the system. I failed to mention that the system works with a silent bidding system and no minimum bids on any items in the game. Perhaps adding those bits of information would have helped it take off. In any case, I keep telling myself I am going to contact the guys over at bbdkp.com to offer them my services to construct point values for raids to include in a stock DKP package. Maybe someone reading this can tell them for me, because I am kind of shy when it comes to those things.

Tomorrow is Dynamis - Tavnazia (ie. another wasted night of non-sponsorship…). I hate the place and think it’s a waste of time. Of course, I am gonna be bias because I want to finish my Excalibur sometime this year and want to do city runs instead of that craptastic currency zone, but I support the linkshell in whatever it does. I am not gonna be picky. Besides, I have an example to set and people expect me to participate. I don’t mind that part of leadership at all either. I do like doing linkshell events. Just wish I got to use my enhancing magic more often… (it had to be said!)

Hopefully I’ll be more motivated over the weekend.

Toodles~

So we had Dynamis - Windurst last night. It was mostly ok except that people still aren’t doing their job and sleeping enough mobs in Dynamis. I don’t want to slam anyone, that’s just not my style, but when you are a Red Mage or even a Black Mage in Dynamis, you’re expected to help sleep at least one mob on large pulls. Windurst is full of these big pulls and when I have to sleep two mobs and bind one on every pull or four to six, someone just isn’t pulling their weight. It’s multiple people in fact. Blackhatchy got really upset, and rightfully so. I know if I were still Dynamis leader, I’d be telling people to simply drop hourglass and go home if they weren’t doing their job in my sponsored Dynamis.

Anyhow, I’ll be addressing that in the October Linkshell Update. For those that have no idea what that is, it’s kinda like a Square Enix update, but just for our own linkshell. We update rules by removing loopholes or modifying certain clauses to fit the progression of our linkshell. This month’s update promises to be a really major one, rivaling last month’s. We’ve also got Player Evaluations going in, which I only have bits and pieces drafted up. It’s not intended to be a “De-recruitment” though, but I think that that is how it will be perceived by the large majority of the members. It’s really supposed to focus on helping people improve in the areas they need it now, so that later we are better as a whole.

I am pretty bored atm. Siveth told me that he wanted a Joyeuse and this just so happens to be related to my most recent project/interest–soloing Charybdis. I am gonna give it a shot. I brought two pairs of Ice Trousers down to Sea Serpent Grotto with me as well, just in case I somehow find them useful. I think that I can squeeze some Paralyze effect in there somewhere! Asdrabael encouraged me to give this solo a shot. He wants to fraps it too so I can post it here. Personally I feel very confident about it, but I am unsure what to expect precisely. I am just gonna wing it. Chances are I’ll lose the first time, but next time around, I’ll nail it, just like I did with VV.

Wish me luck! I go into the darkness…